


Narutostuck: The Spider and the Flies

by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)



Series: Narutostuck [1]
Category: Homestuck, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Backstory, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dark Past, Espionage, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ninja, Team Fluff, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The eastern countries have reached out to the new government of the Land of Space, inviting the village of Hidden Time to send participants to the upcoming chuunin exam in Konoha. Vriska Serket is very interested in whether her country's new leaders will accept, and ropes her teammates into helping her spy on their meeting.  (Prompt!fic for Runespoor.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Narutostuck: The Spider and the Flies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Runespoor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runespoor/gifts).



> Brief setting notes! The Narutostuck world is a fusion wherein I have jammed _Homestuck_ characters into the _Naruto_ universe and am pretending there were always there. Basically the Land of Space (Uchuu no Kuni) lies to the west of the Land of Wind (Kaze no Kuni), separated by a great desert; its capitol is the village of Hidden Time (Kouingakure no Sato). For the past century or two, it has been ruled by the Condesce and engaged in an endless war of conquest on the continent across the western sea; recently, however, a rebellion led by the Sufferer succeeded in overthrowing her and establishing a new social order in which discrimination against humans and discrimination by blood caste are officially outlawed. Meanwhile, over in the Elemental Countries, the plot of _Naruto_ has reached some sort of good-guys-win conclusion. Now the people on both side of the desert are tentatively trying to establish some kind of normal diplomatic and trade relations... but the Condesce and her chief supporters were never caught, and are still seeking to restore their rule.
> 
> Trainee ninja teams are as follows: Vriska-John-Gamzee (Jane-sensei), Dave-Terezi-Karkat (Summoner-sensei), Kanaya-Equius-Nepeta (Dirk-sensei), Jade-Feferi-Aradia (Demoness-sensei), and Rose-Eridan-Sollux (Redglare-sensei). Tavros is a civilian on account of paraplegia and also to make the numbers work out. I am not using the Dancestors as separate characters, though they may inform aspects of the Ancestors' characterization; likewise with the alpha!kid iterations of the beta Guardians.
> 
> Finally, while there IS an overarching plot to this AU, I am not interested in writing it -- seriously, the last thing I need is another novel-length WIP hanging around my neck -- so this is a collection of loosely connected standalone ficlets, not chapters of a unified story.
> 
> (Also, if you have any suggestions for more accurate Japanese terms for Land of Space and Hidden Time, please tell me! There is only so much I can do with online dictionaries, after all, particularly when I have no knowledge of kanji.)

"Why'd you bring the stupid clown?" Vriska hissed in John's ear, leaning in close under pretext of fixing the set of his glasses where he'd gotten them tangled in twigs again. "He can't help with this!"

"But Gamzee's our teammate," John said, blinking at her with the annoying, doofy, _noble_ thing he always did. "We can't go to a promotion exam -- no, wait, what do they call it -- a chuunin exam? Anyway, we can't go without him even if the Uchuukage and the council decide to send teams across the desert. Why would we want to keep secrets from him?"

Arrrrrrrrgh!

Vriska pulled her hands back before she snapped the metal arm of John's glasses. Why had the usurpers spared her when Mindfang-shishou retreated if they were just going to drive her to suicide from sheer frustration? She liked John, honestly she did, but he _would not understand_ how important it was to stay eight steps ahead of the competition.

(Terezi's teammates were even stupider than Gamzee, but at least she didn't have to fight against a lack of ambition. Vriska tried not to be jealous.)

"Whatever," she said with a huff, pointedly ignoring Gamzee as he settled onto his back in their super-secret hideout under the pricker-bushes at the edge of the Uchuukage's compound. "Just get your part of my extra-awesome spying plan ready."

"Already done," John said with a giant grin. He pulled his right arm out from under his chest and twirled one finger. Suddenly a breeze snaked under the bushes, carrying the sound of the usurper and the new Uchuukage chatting about _tea_ varieties, of all the boring, stupid things. Ugh!

"So where's the picture all to match up in the sound, spider sister?" Gamzee asked, so close his breath tickled the hair around the base of Vriska's right horn.

Vriska forcibly suppressed a twitch, and then shoved down another when Gamzee's hand pressed down on her shoulder. Idiot clowns shouldn't be allowed to move that fast and sneaky. Or be that scary with clubs.

"You can't rush genius. Back off and let me work," she snapped, tossing her hair as best she could while lying flat on her stomach in dead leaves and dirt. (That the motion also dislodged Gamzee's hand was completely coincidental. Completely!)

"No problem, sister," Gamzee said, disgustingly amiable.

Vriska glared through the screen of leaves toward the Uchuukage's meeting room on the second floor of the compound. Branches, stone, and distance dissolved under the focus of her vision until she saw the usurper and his pet Kage smiling at each other across the cutesy little white table that stood over the indelible bloodstains where the old Uchuukage used to beat traitors to death and use their remains to paint the seals that were his other specialty.

"Got them," Vriska said, baring her fangs in triumph. Carefully, carefully, she moved her hands through the signs to share her vision eightfold with her teammates, wrapping the images around their brains on a web of illusion.

"This is so cool!" John said.

Vriska's smile warmed. Yeah, it _was_ cool. Cooler than cool, even! The coolest! She loved when John recognized her skills and the effort she put into helping him like a good friend should. (And helping Gamzee too, she guessed. Stupid, stupid, dumb, having to haul his deadweight around. Except maybe in a fight. He was kind of useful then, as long as she stood out of backsplash range.)

The meeting room door opened, letting in the new head of Intelligence, two Anbu representatives in their painted masks (one troll, one human), and the same two councilors the old Uchuukage had appointed, because the usurper was too soft to make a clean sweep like any sane person would have done.

"Thank you fur coming," the Uchuukage said, rising from her chair and putting on her official hat to match her formal robes.

"Glad to be here, nice to see you, oh look, the big boss dropped in for a visit, must be important," drawled the blonde human who had taken over Mindfang-shishou's position running Intelligence. She leaned against the doorframe with a sake flask in her hand, a deceptively casual and unbalanced stance. "Can we skip the filler? I have other things to waste my time on."

Ooooooooh, Vriska hated her. Stupid bitch, taking Mindfang-shishou's job and _changing_ it, like Vriska's teacher hadn't been strong and perfect and everything Vriska was still trying to live up to.

The Uchuukage snickered, as did the two masked Anbu. "No purroblem, Roxy-san! We're here, as I'm sure you all know, because the eastern lands have finally realized we're not lioning about the change in government and our lack of interest in territorial expansion. As a furst step toward normalized relations, they've invited us to send our most purromising young soldiers to compete in their purrmotion exams. I have not yet decided whether to catcept. This is your chance to advise me."

"Proth and conth?" the troll Anbu asked.

"I'll take pro," Mindfang-shishou's replacement said. "One of you take con."

"Can do!" the human Anbu said. His voice was incongruously cheerful. "Point the first, they're obviously trawling for information about our new training patterns; why surrender a potential advantage? Point the second, the eastern lands have had troubles of their own this past decade and only recently managed a tentative alliance. Who's to say they're not looking for an external enemy to strengthen those ties? Do we want to send our youngest soldiers into that kind of potential fracas?"

The Anbu paused for breath, then continued. "Point the third, they'll insist on sending representatives here to negotiate the details. Those representatives will obviously be spies, which will allow them an uncomfortably close look at the lingering unrest we're still working to resolve -- speaking of which, sir, I must reiterate that it would be vastly simpler to kill the hard cases instead of trying to convert them. Or at least let us use more effective persuasion methods than plain speech, no matter how longwinded."

"Hey, I just realized why his voice sounds familiar. That's my uncle Jake!" John whispered in Vriska's ear. "I didn't know he was this high up in Anbu!"

"Shh!" Vriska hissed. "You'll make me lose focus."

"Sorry," said John.

Vriska tuned back in to the meeting.

"--our principles, on which the entire legitimacy of our coup and the new order rest," the usurper was saying. "So no. The reeducation and reconciliation programs will continue as is."

"Sir, yes, sir," said the human Anbu. "Returning to the main subject, fourth point! Having eastern representatives here will create a flashpoint for the reactionary elements in the Land of Space. Many are still unhappy with the abolishment of the caste system and even more so with your work to integrate humans into positions of authority. Foreign humans will be almost irresistible targets. And point the fifth, not to speak ill of our youngest soldiers -- many of whom fought honorably in the revolution -- are you sure you trust them to represent us in the outer world? We want to put our best foot forward, not touch off another century of that old 'trolls are bloodthirsty monsters' nonsense."

"Nonsense? We are bloodthirsty!" the Uchuukage said with a fang-baring grin.

"But not monsters," said the usurper, ruffling the hair between her horns. "Roxy-san, if you would list the pros?"

Mindfang-shishou's replacement drank a swallow from her flask and sauntered forward to sit on the edge of the little white table. "Okay, first up, no intelligence is ever one hundred percent reliable--"

One of the councilors snorted. Vriska wanted to echo him. As if Mindfang-shishou had ever been wrong about anything!

The blonde human narrowed her eyes at the thin, elderly highblood. "I don't care what my predecessor claimed about torture and mind-rape. Nobody ever knows everything. That's what makes life fun! Now, like I said, I can't completely guarantee this, but I'd stake my life on my agents' reports. An' they tell me the eastern countries are genuine about this offer. They don't want a new war, even if it might be useful from an alliance perspective. In another ten years that might change -- 'specially if we can't get our act together on tracking down the Condesce and her merry little gang -- but right now they're too damn tired to fight us.

"As for spying, so what? I'm damn sure they already have spies here. Official ones will actually be less trouble -- at least I'll know where they are. An' if you don't trust your own soldiers to keep visitors safe, what the hell kind of message does that send to people? Both our people _and_ the same easterners you're trying to sweet-talk?"

She took another swallow of sake. "As for the last bit, I think it's better to send kids than adults. People forgive a lot more shit from kids. Humans are way extra dumb like that. Besides, this'll help make sure the next generation knows the Condesce's fucked-up system isn't the only game in town. Some of them could use the reminder."

"Is that your furmal recommendation, or simply your conclawsion as the purrson arguing in favor?" the Uchuukage asked.

"Both," said Mindfang-shishou's replacement.

"The rest of you, what do you think?" the Uchuukage asked, looking around the room.

The two Anbu exchanged an unreadable glance. "We thay yeth, but carefully. Don't thend more than five or thixth teamth, no matter how many people could uthe promotion."

"We say no," the thin councilor said. "The Land of Space has never needed the approval of humans. You have already perverted our ancient way of life to the point where our society will be unrecognizable within a generation. Do not rush to change it further."

The usurper shook his head when the Uchuukage turned to him. "This is a military decision, kitten. You can't pass it off to me. I'm only here for moral support."

"Meanie," said the Uchuukage, sticking her tongue out at her matesprit. "All right. I say the chance to create new furriendships -- and also trade oppurrtunities! -- is too impurrtant to pass up. We don't have to do this again if it purroves to be a purroblem," she added, nodding toward the councilors, "but to avoid something just beclaws we've never done it befur would be furry silly. And I agree with Roxy-san that it will be good fur our young soldiers to see a world beyond our borders."

"Great, so we're done," said Mindfang-shishou's replacement.

"Ah! Not so fast. Now we have to decide which teams to send," said the Uchuukage.

"Take it up with their teachers," said the blonde human. "They'll know their subordinates better than we do. Once you have a set of test subjects, come talk to me about security an' cultural briefings, all that shit. Until then, I have a department to run. Ta, boss." She tilted her head back to drain the last of her flask and vanished in an illusory splash of sake.

Vriska closed her eye and cut her illusion web.

"Hey! They're still talking," said John.

"Not about anything important. We should leave before they're done. The more people inside the compound, the fewer out here to catch us if we're careless," Vriska said, turning on her stomach to worm her way back out from under the bushes.

"True words, sister," said Gamzee. "True and deep."

He was _such_ an idiot. "Besides, we need to go find Jane-sensei and convince her that we should be one of the chosen teams," Vriska said to John. "She'll nominate us when the Uchuukage asks, of course -- I don't see why she _wouldn't_ , when we're so obviously the best -- but it can't hurt to remind her that she needs to be enthusiastic! There is no way we're going to be stuck here while some other lucky saps get to cross the desert and get ahead of us by fighting easterners and learning all their secret techniques!"

And there was no way she'd pass up a chance to find out what had happened to Mindfang-shishou. When her old teacher had assessed the war and decided she needed to retreat and regroup, she'd told Vriska she would head east. Then she'd knocked Vriska out when Vriska had asked to come along.

Vriska was still mad about that. And also, maybe, just a tiny bit, she was starting to wonder if the usurper and his people might have a point that not everything Mindfang-shishou had done in the service of the Condesce was... well... _good_. Obviously it had all been _right_ , because she was following perfectly legal orders, but maybe... maybe those orders hadn't been good. Maybe some of the people Vriska had helped torture and kill shouldn't have been in the interrogation chambers.

Maybe even...

(No. She _was not_ thinking about Tavros. That was entirely his own stupid fault for being so weak. It had nothing to do with how scared she'd been that Mindfang-shishou wouldn't think _she_ was strong enough and interesting enough to take as an apprentice and save her from getting thrown into the churning maw of the endless western invasion. _Nothing_.)

"You know we've never changed Jane-sensei's mind about anything just by whining at her," John said as Vriska brushed the last debris from her clothes. "We have to have reasons and stuff. And she'll want to know how we know about the decision anyway."

"So we tell her!" Vriska said, grabbing John's squishy human hand and dragging him down the street. "We're supposed to be an infiltration team, right? We infiltrated! Which is a great example of why we're awesome and deserve to go ace those exams and show the easterners that the soldiers of Hidden Time were, are, and always will be the best! Right, Gamzee?"

_Agree with me, agree with me, agree with me_ , she sent into his mind. The compulsion probably wouldn't work -- highbloods were almost as resistant to her inborn gift as humans were -- but his own creepy psychic thing should at least let him _hear_ her.

"Yeah, we're all at being awesome," Gamzee agreed, pulling a club out of nowhere and using it to scratch his back. He grinned at John. "Looks like you and me and the spider sister are chasing the sunrise, windy brother."

After a second, John smiled back. "I guess it'll be an adventure!"

"It will," Vriska promised. "It totally, totally will."

One way or another, she'd make sure of that.


End file.
